Piiiiiiink Flooooooooyd

I cannot stop listening to Pink Floyd today. Seriously, I've listened to "Shine on you Crazy Diamond" like 6 times now. I am on a binge.

...

Weird, right? I actually am a normal person. I'm mean, outside of all of this weird shit that's been going down, I'm a pretty average guy. I have a family, I had some friends (not many, most moved when college started as I said in my first post, but I still talked to them, and I had a few people I'd go out with here every once and a while), I have crushes on girls, I'm a type 1 diabetic, I play guitar, I go to school, I have a job...it wasn't anything spectacular, but life was normal. Normal can be good.

But ever since all this shit started happening, first the dreams, then the whole being sick (have I mentioned I still perpetually feel like crap? because I do), and now....just...it feels like all this stuff is taking over. My grades have gone done the fucking toilet, I've missed so much work I'm probably going to get fired soon, I haven't talked to anyone but Colin in the last week, and I spend most of my time at home locked in my room. 

I think that's why I want to find Dan...if I can find him, then maybe everything can go back to normal. I'll find out he just went to boarding school or something and that I was just having some bad fever dreams or something. I'm just...obsessed. I don't like it, but I can't help it. Today was the first time in weeks I was able to NOT be thinking about all this (thanks to Roger Waters' transcendent bass lines).

Who knows. Maybe this will all work out, and then I can just make this like a regular blog or something...talk about music or movies or girls or how my day was or just life in general...

Fuck I am depressed now.

Got an address

I finally got Colin to talk to me more about Dan. Here's our conversation.

M: hey
C: hey
M: So i was wondering if you knew where dan's parents moved
C: dude why does it matter
M: i'm just curious, i'm trying to look him up
C: bullshit
C: every goddamn time i've gotten online this week you've sent me a message and it always leads to dan
C: why the hell are you so concerned with some kid that disappeared when we were like 9?

I didn't respond for a minute. I was trying to think of how to say what I wanted to say without sounding crazy.

C: well?
M: Ok
M: look
M: about a month ago, i started having these dreams, like really crazy fucked up dreams
M: and there was this kid, and I knew that I knew him, but I couldn't remember who he was
M: and then it hit me like a sock full of fucking nickels one night that it was Dan
M: so i asked around, but no one remembers him
M: not my parents, not our old teachers, nobody.
M: except you
M: so I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on here because it's really freaking me out and I need to know what happened to him
M: so that's why I keep asking you. because you're the only one besides me who I know of that even remembers this person. And that's not normal.
M: so yeah.

There was no reply from Colin for a good two hours. I thought maybe he had logged off or just walked away or put me on ignore or something, because despite my best efforts, what I'd said sounded pretty fucking crazy. As I was getting ready to go to bed though, I heard my computer go off and he had sent me this:

C: Here's where his parents moved: *************(not posting address for obvious reasons)**************
C: let me know if anything happens.

Then he logged off. I mapquested the place, it's a good four hours away from here, but I'm gonna try and head out when I can. I may take my video camera, but I don't know yet. I'll keep all y'all updated.


P.S - Thanks for the support from those of you reading, I do appreciate it. I never thought I'd be writing about all this shit on a freakin' blog, but here I am. But it helps, it feels good to get it out there and have people tell me I'm not crazy (despite what their mental state might be...). So yeah...thanks.

Stuck

Ugh, sorry I haven't been posting much lately. Family business with the holidays and whatnot. I've tried talking to Colin more, but he always seems to log off right after I mention Dan. I can't get anything out of him. I don't know whats going on.

I'm really freaking out here. This is all getting too weird for me, I don't know if my sanity can take much more of this. I feel like a fucking psychopath, trying to track this guy down. I've got drawings posted all over my walls, old photos, phone numbers, it's just...it looks like I'm losing my mind.

And this fucking Dan who keeps leaving comments..."once you remember you never forget"...whatever the fuck that means...it's just really gotten into my head, I don't know why. I just keep hearing that phrase in the back of my mind, wherever I go.

My dreams are getting progressively worse. There's always fire everywhere, and I can see Dan laughing and melting, and I've never seen anything so...evil. But even in the light of the fires there's this overwhelming shadow hanging over me and I don't know what it is.

I keep seeing shit out of the corner of my eye. Faces, creatures, shadows all just seem to be right outside my vision.

I have to find out what happened to Dan. I have to know for sure. That's the only way any of this can get any better. I can see where I need to go, but I don't know how to get there.

Colin mentioned that he thought he'd moved away. I wonder if he knows where they moved.




Hold on a second. No, he didn't say Dan moved...he said his parents moved...I wonder if- whatever, it's a lead. Maybe he knows where they moved. Let's hope. I'll post again if I have anything to report.

Not Crazy

Alright, so - I'm not crazy. Well, at least not completely crazy.

I found someone else who remembers Dan. It's another guy that went to school with us, Colin. He went to college a couple states away, but I was finally able to get a hold of him over facebook. Here was our conversation

M: Hey
C: hey mark what's up
C: long time no see
M: ya it's been a while
C: how you been?
M: fine, fine...hey can i ask you kind of a weird question
C: sure?
M: do you remember a kid that went to school with us when we were younger named Dan?
C: Yeah for sure. brown hair, kinda lanky,  i think he was in boy scouts?
M: Yes! Yes that's him!
C: ya i remember him. why?
M: Do you know what happened to him? It seemed like he kinda disappeared
C: uhhh i think his parents moved or something
C: but i don't really know
C: i haven't talked to him in years
M: me neither
C: why the sudden interest then?
M: just curious i guess. he popped into my head the other day
C: i see
C: ok well i g2g. keep in touch.

He logged off at that point. I didn't mention the dreams or no one else remembering him just because...well mostly because I didn't want to sound like a rambling psychopath. It's just...it's reassuring to know that he existed I guess. That this wasn't all just going on in my head.

But something strange is still going on. I want to figure this out. I don't know if I want to talk to Dan or just find our what happened or what...I just have to find out what's going on. Why I'm feeling so sick, why I'm having these dreams, why only me and one other person seem to be able to recall the existence of someone...
all questions with no clear answers in sight. I need a plan, I need to get to the bottom of this.

But where do I start?

Nothing new

Nothing of any real interest to report right now...I've still been calling around, but no luck. Still have a few more people to try. This is just exhausting me. Starting to wonder if he was just an imaginary friend or something and I'm just a crazy person.

Remembered

Ok first thing first, I'm fine. Sorry to freak out like that mid-post.

Now then - the reason I freaked out was because I remembered who it was in my dreams. All of a sudden it hit me, like a song you haven't heard in forever and then all of a sudden you find yourself singing it and you know all the words. I can remember hanging out with him when I was a lot younger, like 7 or 8. We had lived in the same neighborhood for a while, we were in the same class, we were in Boy Scouts together. Then one day he was just gone. I don't remember if he moved or what but I haven't thought about him since then.

But here's what's really weird - nobody else remembers him. No one. I asked my parents about it and they said they don't remember him, I called a bunch of my old school friends, he'll, I managed to get a hold of one of our old teachers. Nothing. There's a few people I haven't tried yet, but this is weird. If anything, my parents should remember. I distinctly remember him spending a lot of time at our house.

Oh, and by the way, his name was Dan. So yeah, I'm kind of freaked out right now. I don't know why I didn't remember him until now, I don't know why no one else can remember him, and I sure as he'll don't know if the 'Dan' that commented the other day is trying to play a sick joke or...I dont know. I need to get to the bottom of this. I'll keep you updated.

But it can't be real! Its just a legend!

...is what a stupid person might say.

Let's talk about 'him'. After reading some of the comments, and blogs of those who commented, it's clear that some believe I may be involved with a certain skinny spectre. Now while I'd be willing to accept that, I'm not sure if I am. I'd never heard any of the stories before this, I haven't seen 'him' in my dreams...I don't know. I'm just not sure if Slender Man is involved in all thi-

Wait.

WaitwaitwaitFUCKwait.

That can't be him...no no that can't be him there's no fucking way! Fucking shit fuck I'll post more later I have to make some calls